the beginning

Okay...so I've never blogged in my life. I actually thought blogging was kinda pointless, but here I am blogging. haha. I'm not exactly sure why because i highly doubt anyone is going to read this. I just want to blab about whatever I feel like blabbing about. you know how you blab to ur friends about the same thing all the time and they get kinda annoyed. well...not annoyed but they start caring less and less about ur complaints/blabble. idk...its prob just me my worrying self that thinks that.

So...I graduated college in April with my bachelor degree in nursing. Moved back with my parents, got dumped, and now I have an amazing nursing job. lol. Everything pretty much perfect minus the getting dumped part and not knowing anyone where I live now. My parents just moved to Bradenton, Fl so I know no one and everyone at my job is pretty much old. Not like 30 or 40 old but more like 50...maybe 80 old. haha. maybe im exaggerating on the 80 but they're older. nothing wrong with that though bc they are all super nice and they have taught me so so much in the past 3 weeks. but basically...i know no one which kinda sucks bc i like to socialize. probably why im making a blog bc i have nothing else to do with my spare time. lol. so...anyways...i love my job! i absolutely love being a nurse and getting to know my patients and seeing them get better :) Its like a sense of accomplishment. i just feel good about myself and if i can just make them smile and feel a little better...then that makes me happy. prob sounds corny but its true. i cant explain it. nurses have really bad conditions sometimes...12 hr shifts, on your feet all day, stressed, running around, bending, lifting, no lunch breaks or sometimes no breaks period, putting up with grumpy doctors, etc... but all that is worth it to me to see my patients happy and feeling better.

So...about the getting dumped part. lol. Yepp...got dumped by the same person twice. kinda sucks bc its like...what the hell is wrong with me. but...even tho i may not believe it 100% yet...I know that its better off. We were very different people even if I  didnt want to believe it. But...i do think that getting dumped has contributed to what im feeling now a days. I just feel like im missing something. like...i want to do so much with my life. I really want to travel and explore different cultures and I even would want to help out 3rd world countries as a nurse. Just so much that I can do but Im not doing. Of course I need nursing experience which sucks bc im so impatient and want to do all this exploring now. But, I have to wait at least a year to get experience under my belt. then i can go out and do what i want to do. But for now...im so blahhh. dont get me wrong...i love my parents and am really close to them and love staying with them. but...i wish i could just meet people here. but...im so shy. my friends dont believe me but i am at first until i get to know people. so...im going to try the whole taking risks thing and just doing it. we'll see how that goes. haha.

okay...i cant stay up any longer. haha. two 12 hour shifts in a row will do that to you. :/

nighty night :)