Have you ever just felt like crying? Like you just start crying just because?? Well...i feel like that. even more so today. I put this happy front up and I am over all happy. I mean...i really don't have much to complain about and there are many more people out there that are worse off than me so I really shouldn't even complain about anything. But..i just feel like something is missing. like really missing. idk what it is. obviously..bc if i did...i would have found it already and i wouldn't be feeling like this. lol. But...i just have to keep thinking that God does have a plan for me. And this is part of it so I just have to be patient. I know what the cause of this blahness is though but I can't do anything about it so there's no point for me to even dwell on it. I just have to move on but I'm having a difficult time doing that esp since I know that someone is having a so much better time without me. I don't even know why I care bc he doesnt stop to even think about how I am doing, but it just sucks! I want to stop feeling like this. Its like sometimes I have my high moments when I'm like...damn...I'm not missing anything, but then I have low moments like this where I feel like crap. I just feel like...whats wrong with me? You know...I feel like I have everything going for me and I'm a positive happy, caring person who would do anything for the people she loves, yet I feel like I'm not good enough. Its something I have to get over. I'm just tired of wasting my time on this. Its been...over a month anne...GET OVER IT! I'm trying the best I can though. It doesn't help that its such a gloomy day and I'm listening to depressing love songs. haha. Okay...I'm going to get undepressed and catch up on my Hawthorne shows.
Also...today is my wonderful mom's bday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADRE! i love you!!! :D