Blah

Have you ever just felt like crying? Like you just start crying just because?? Well...i feel like that. even more so today. I put this happy front up and I am over all happy. I mean...i really don't have much to complain about and there are many more people out there that are worse off than me so I really shouldn't even complain about anything. But..i just feel like something is missing. like really missing. idk what it is. obviously..bc if i did...i would have found it already and i wouldn't be feeling like this. lol. But...i just have to keep thinking that God does have a plan for me. And this is part of it so I just have to be patient. I know what the cause of this blahness is though but I can't do anything about it so there's no point for me to even dwell on it. I just have to move on but I'm having a difficult time doing that esp since I know that someone is having a so much better time without me. I don't even know why I care bc he doesnt stop to even think about how I am doing, but it just sucks! I want to stop feeling like this. Its like sometimes I have my high moments when I'm like...damn...I'm not missing anything, but then I have low moments like this where I feel like crap. I just feel like...whats wrong with me? You know...I feel like I have everything going for me and I'm a positive happy, caring person who would do anything for the people she loves, yet I feel like I'm not good enough. Its something I have to get over. I'm just tired of wasting my time on this. Its been...over a month anne...GET OVER IT! I'm trying the best I can though. It doesn't help that its such a gloomy day and I'm listening to depressing love songs. haha. Okay...I'm going to get undepressed and catch up on my Hawthorne shows.

On a happy note...I made these delicious cup cakes. Red velvet with stawberries in it and cream cheese frosting topped with a delicious strawberry! hmmm...YUM!

Also...today is my wonderful mom's bday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADRE! i love you!!! :D